I have liked a girl for a long time, and finally waited until she broke up. I thought my chance had come, but recently I got the news that she wanted to get back together with her ex-boyfriend. In this case, what should I do?<br/ >
First of all, let’s understand the psychology of girls who want to get back together with their ex-boyfriend:
This is due to the different roles of men in choosing a mate. Men invest less in reproduction, while women are pregnant for ten months and invest a lot of resources in raising offspring. This also determines that men can withdraw from a relationship at any time, but women cannot. A woman can guarantee that the offspring will be her own DNA, but a man cannot.
Men’s mate selection strategy is more inclined to cast a wide net to increase their reproductive success rate. A woman's mate selection strategy is to select the best. Therefore, even if a man has a satisfactory partner, he still likes new things out of instinct. Women often invest a lot in their ex-boyfriends and find it difficult to let go.
Because women use the practice of choosing a mate based on merit, they seek quality rather than quantity. !Once you identify your partner, you will carefully transform and cultivate it, and invest a lot of resources and energy.
The first thing humans consider before breaking up is not how much I love the other person, but how much I have invested in the other person. Investments that cannot be repaid are called sunk costs. Just like a gambler in a casino, he loses his money and is unable to stop, and eventually loses everything.
Due to sunk cost considerations, women often find it difficult to let go of the ex-boyfriends they have invested in. Often women cannot realize this subjectively, and they can only reversely rationalize it as: I love her very much.
So what should you do if you like your ex-boyfriend and want to get back together?
The answer is, Give up the pursuit.
In real life, out of a sense of responsibility, there is a certain possibility for a man to turn back. And for a woman, once her heart is elsewhere, it is basically impossible to look back. Men are passionate and long-term, women are dedicated and ruthless.
I can understand your friend’s situation, so I suggest you stop making any further attempts at pursuit. Because your attempts will only make you more miserable in the end. Because even if she agrees to be with you, she may not be with you physically or mentally in the end.
Therefore, if you want this situation to happen, it is best to establish your own standards for mate selection and avoid this situation in advance.
<img src="/uploadfile/2024/1026/20241026162228551.png" alt="A girl has made it clear that she doesn"t like me, but is there any chance she can chat with me every day-" />